C. R. Jahn

My name is C. R. JAHN, but most people call me HOOK, and my friends call me Clint. My grandfather got me my first library card when I was 2, and by the time I was enrolled in kindergarten I supposedly had a 4th grade reading level... when I changed schools in another state for 2nd grade, I was told I had a 10th grade reading level. When I took the Iowa tests and SATs my English scores were allways in the top percentile and the IQ test I took in 11th grade alleged my score exceeded 130... but I was always a dunderhead nincompoop to my grandfather and a dumbass dipshit to my da, because book smarts are truly no substitute for life experience and common sense. Never be overly impressed by high test scores and fancy credentials, because I guarantee some of those individuals are stupider than you are. I've been writing since I was a wee lad... many felt I was incredibly gifted, but my debut novel, penned at the age of 20, was a downright embarassment. After taking a ton of English courses and editing the college newspaper for 4 years my writing significantly improved, as did my vocabulary. Just because something comes naturally to you doesn't mean you're good at it. One of my first books, on a subject I was supposedly an expert in, contained several glaring errors as well as numerous typos. I continually strive to improve my craft. My voice is very unique, as I was exposed to a wide variety of subcultures and verniculars. The folks I associated with had few to no filters, and my writing reflects that. I have dabbled with fiction, but worked primarily in non fiction, with my specialties being practical self defence and occult theory (under the pen name SCRIBE 27), because those topics I happened to find especially interesting and had studied them intently since I was a wee lad of 8 years old. I have conversed with some of the world's top experts on related subject matters and consumed hundreds of books until I learned everything I wanted to know. A huge part of learning is actually unlearning things that were clearly wrong, as well as understanding the vast depths of your own ignorance. Particularlly regarding matters of science, what we know is far less than what we do not know... and then there is a whole undiscovered realm of things we don't even realize we don't know... and anyone who claims different is either a liar or a fool. We exist in a multidimensional world, with much we cannot quantify let alone directly observe. The fourth dimension, for example, seems largely hypothetical, and the fifth dimension is primarilly speculative... yet other dimensions surely exist beyond that which are literally beyond the ability of the human mind to grasp beyond crude sketches of tesseracts and non Euclidean scribblings. Anyhow, these are my books. My author website is at crjahn.com and I post occasionally on Quora and social media as well, because the constant federal surveillance annoyed me so much I just decided to post my innermost Dear Diary thoughts publically to quash the hurtful rumors about what an awful person I must be. I've never been awful, certainly not evil... I like puppies, am still best friends with most of my exes, and my mom thinks I'm cool. I am actually very honest, uncomplicated, and rather boring nowadays. Riding a V8 trike, getting in barfights, and being married to a demonically possessed former pro wrestler really isn't as exciting as it sounds. Typically I spend my days sleeping late and telling the internet it is wrong... you probably do that too. Someday, maybe we'll get a puppy.