Matthew Fray

I am a writer and relationship coach. I got divorced in 2013 and thought I was going to die. And that's maybe a little dramatic, but it's true. I struggled with normal stuff like breathing. The way I felt every day of my life had been replaced by some suckier feeling. And everything I was certain of -- everything I was counting on happening tomorrow and the next day and next year all went up in smoke. So I went to work on figuring out what happened. Questions like "What did I do to contribute to this?" or "What could I have done differently to prevent this?" were routinely on my mind. So I drank too much one night and started writing about it on the internet. And something magical happened. People "got" it. My story was their story. My dysfunctional relationship looked and sounded and felt like their dysfunctional relationships. Eventually, the truth caught up to me and I understood: Good people can be bad at relationships. People with the best intentions in the world can still inadvertently harm their relationship partners. And so began my journey to help people (and myself) show up more effectively in relationships in all of the subtle, nuanced ways that gone unchecked, lead to the slow erosion of trust and the end of our relationships. To play a tiny part in helping reduce all of the stuff that sucks about marriage and relationships, so that we can better enjoy all of the amazing and beautiful parts. When I'm not doing this, I'm reading books, drinking whiskey, listening to music, playing chess, watching movies or football, hanging out with friends, enjoying sunshine, and other rad things.