Jessica Simpson is a force to be reckoned with—she’s a multi-hyphenate whose resume includes musician, actress, entrepreneur, philanthropist, producer, and now best-selling author. In her new essay for Amazon Original Stories, “Take the Lead,” Simpson explores motherhood, fears, grief, and acceptance. She answered our questions about “Take the Lead” over email.

Sarah Gelman, Amazon Book Review: The title of this essay is “Take the Lead,” and you open with you confronting your fear of horses. Do you see taking the lead of a horse as a metaphor for where you are in your life? 
Jessica Simpson: I think it is very important that we recognize the power we have to make changes within our own lives. I have learned, in the words of Frank Sinatra’s “I Did It My Way,” we all have our own path. I discovered the only way to understand what holds me back is to examine the reasons behind my subconscious fears: I asked myself, why I have nurtured them for so long? How did they serve a purpose in my life?  Once I answered those questions, I realized it was time to not let fear have power over my life/me anymore.

I chose to take the lead of my path and be guided by my soulful intuition. The horse for me is a fear. The horse is also a metaphor connecting me to other fears I have harbored. Once I put that particular confrontation in motion, I felt more secure in my relationship to fear in general. Whether it is a destructive behavior, a toxic relationship, a life-altering decision, or the comfort of complacency, if we bring it into the light of our awareness, move through the fear and unexpectedly [receive] the reward of fulfilment, it will allow our purpose to begin. 

What relationship do you have with journaling? 
Journaling is an integral part of my life. Most of the time I start with “Hello, Head of Mine” or a dream to interpret from the night before. Before parenting and starting my workday, there is nothing in this world that gets me to a place of peace more than having a written conversation with God and myself. Let’s call my journal my “accountability partner.”

As a woman and a mother, I was thrilled to see you address the media’s obsession with your weight (and also that you threw away your scale). What advice will you give to your own daughters if you see their worth getting tied up in the numbers on a scale? 
Weight is not a conversation in our home. Eric and I lead by example with self-love and care. We are all beautiful and perfectly made. We are living in a very different time now, where body inclusivity and individuality are much more celebrated, and I am hopeful and pray that I will be able to protect my kids and not allow them to be judged by their bodies the way I was and continue to be judged for mine.

You write in “Take the Lead” that you thought publishing a memoir—as you did with Open Book—would mean you were going to die. Why did you feel this way? 
The pain of losing someone you love at a young age manifested itself in a way that I still can’t comprehend. I think, since my cousin Sarah was so prophetic in her writing and had written her life story in her journals, I had always felt that telling the story of my life might mean I was at the end of my own. Sarah died young and served a purpose in my life. 

I romanticized a William Shakespeare ending to my writing. I didn’t even realize at the age of 40 that I had lived enough life to have a memoir. I am just grateful to have written my story up to now, so I can have this new perspective for living the rest of my life. Let’s get real: I ain’t no longer young, so I ain’t dying young!  

I hope everyone who thought you were, as you write, a “ditzy carefree girl,” knows just how wrong they were. You’re at the head of a billion-dollar global fashion and lifestyle brand, a musician, actress, entrepreneur, philanthropist, producer, and a #1 New York Times best-selling author, not to mention a wife and mother. I’m afraid to even ask, but what’s next for you?
Thank you!  I am so excited to be working on a documentary series and a scripted series with Amazon, both based on Open Book. I love television, so it is a genuine honor to share my life in the most real and raw way possible. In my docuseries, I will be putting music in the forefront for the first time. We will all go on this journey back to my voice—which is my purpose—together in real time. Also, stepping into executive producer shoes on a scripted series has my creative wheels turning. It has introduced me to a new facet of my career where I’ve discovered I am passionate and able to learn and excel.

I loved the books you recommended on the Amazon Book Review. What are you reading and loving right now?
I’m currently delving into anything Carl Jung.  At the moment, I am intrigued by the recognized link between the contents of the individual psyche and the archetypal themes of the myth and religion. I have been studying the collective unconscious and how the subconscious and conscious minds lend to the psychology of spirituality and creativity. I’m daring to leap into the unknown to acquaint myself with my own habitual patterns of thinking and rewiring them to have a better understanding of myself and others without judgement. I’m discovering that my personal judgements have not been my own, and it excites me to introduce myself to who I truly am.